Top 10 Annoying Distractions During Bikram Yoga

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10 annoying bikram yoga distractions

  1. The person next to me whom reeks of cigarettes and mildew.  Please, I beg you, get new clothes and if you must smoke (hey – I get it) do it somewhere properly ventilated!
  2. The person who sets their mat directly in front of me so that I cannot see myself in the mirror.  You are violating proper etiquette and messing up my concentration on myself – all I see is you.
  3. The girl who drips orangey self-tanner off with her sweat onto her white towel.  It just grosses me out!  Use a black towel!  Don’t use the self-tanner and then come to class!
  4. The person who breathes so heavily during class that my attention span (already the length of a fleas’) gets thrown off.  It makes me curious if you do that during sex, and if so, how many of your partners are as turned off as I am?
  5. Those of you that violate the no talking rule.  It’s a rule!  No talking!  This is a shared, sacred space.  You are ruining mine and everyone else’s meditation.
  6. Those yogis that set their mats between the lines.  You have now just taken up four spots for other yogis who are aware of the etiquette, and make the rest of us smash together.  Plus, look around you!  Everyone else has their mat placed directly over a line!
  7. (Now I am going to be bitchy!) Instructors that compliment me during balancing poses.  I always lose my balance!! (Ha!  Totally my bad – compliments are always appreciated!)
  8. The lady that leaves the room, the same time, after the same position during every class.  Please use the restroom before class.  You obviously have to, this happens every single class.
  9. The yogis that are always ahead of the dialogue and don’t listen to it.  You throw off the entire class’s balance and moving together.  This is a group class – a group effort, even though it’s not, it still is!
  10. Whoever it is that smells of chicken soup.  You are in every class.  The smell makes me nauseous.  And since it’s every class, maybe it’s me? :/
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5 thoughts on “Top 10 Annoying Distractions During Bikram Yoga

  1. Joann

    2 more…

    The people who put ice cubes in their water bottle and then drink during Savasana and other poses.

    The girl who comes to class and substitutes her own yoga poses for the Birkam poses, sits up during Savasana and claps along with the instructor during the final breathing exercise.

  2. Katie

    The person that walks in before class while everyone else is meditating in savasana and flips their mat out as loudly as possible, occasionally transporting said mat in a crinkly Trader Joe’s bag. No-maste.

cheer me along!

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