Wow! What an amazing question today.
To understand all I have been through in just the last year, a journey through hell that began exactly one year ago tomorrow, you should read this.
The significant amount of change in myself over the last year (which is really what I will focus on) is that I trust and respect people a lot less now. I usually give all my trust upfront, 100%, and work backwards as people slowly erode that trust.
You know what’s funny though? Even though I think I trust people less now, I don’t. Just yesterday I got caught up in something that I ended up getting screwed over on because I guess I still do trust people too much upfront.
I guess I just don’t trust a lot I knew before in my life at all anymore. I guess I still keep hoping each new person brought into my life will be different.
Maybe I haven’t changed at all.
But in reality, I have.
I used to be very social. I loved going out, to bars, going dancing, doing anything fun and exciting. I would plan group dinners, group outings. I don’t do anything like that anymore. I prefer a one-on-one type of outing now with my bestest girlfriends and a couple of my aunts.
My group of friends I would socialize with have dwindled from a rotating group of 20+ to five.
Though I have always been a bit claustrophobic and wary of crowds, I am simply terrified now in large masses of people.
I’ve never been big on dating. But I would dabble a bit. I haven’t been on a date in 441 days, and I don’t see that changing anytime soon.
That was also the last time I slept with anyone, and as a highly sexual person, that has hit me pretty hard. But I am also not interested in getting involved with anyone.
I have lost so much in the last year, but I have also gained what is truly important.
I would have to say that way I have changed the most in the last two years is that I now value quality over quantity.
So why I began this talking about a journey through hell, maybe it was just a rocky path to heaven.
I believe life is going to be a lot better now.