13 Reasons Why I Am the Most Obnoxious Person in Your Bikram Yoga Class



1. I get there early. I am usually the 1st one there. I can even get in earlier than the doors open because I know all of the instructors.

2. I plop myself in the same position every time – center of the room, middle row, under a fan. Um, it’s my spot.

3. I do not like anyone being too close to me. Yes, you! You will get a stink face from me if you get too close from me.

4. I am easily distracted. If you make any noise, my head immediately turns your way. It’s not intentional; it’s reactional.

5. My ankles make a lot of noise. They crack and snap. Especially my right one. I like to twist them in circles prior to class to get as much of it out of the way as possible. It’s loud. It certainly interrupts your meditation.

6. I have been incredibly unstable lately when balancing on one foot. I fall rough forward, backwards, and to both sides. That doesn’t stop me from repeatedly trying – I need my balance back!

7. I wear my hair, piled on top of my head in an high, snooty bun. Specifically so I can use it as an excuse to perform rabbit poorly.

8. I keep a wet hand towel at my side to wipe the grease off my eye lids. I do this a lot. A lot!!

9. I make up my own modifications as I go along, depending on how my body is feeling that day – and I never get disciplined for them.

10. I cannot do Savasana. One or both legs are usually bent. My arms may be over my head. I fidget. I wipe sweat.

11. I stink. Usually of garlic. I do this because if I stink bad enough than I can’t smell you.

12. I laugh, giggle and make obnoxious faces during class. The instructors will ask me about it and we may have a short discussion during class.

13. If I don’t know your name (or sometimes even when I do!) but I see you often, I may have a nickname for you. Swamp Monster comes to mind.


One thought on “13 Reasons Why I Am the Most Obnoxious Person in Your Bikram Yoga Class

cheer me along!

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