(I kind of went all out mean girl on this – I would never actually say these things to these people, but this is a good exercise because I can get it all out and be done with it. In fact, coming up with five people to say something to was hard. If I have something to say positive – I say it. I feel many people complain and are meant too often, but many never take the time to say something nice. I make sure I do. But the negative people in my life, I just cut them out – they aren’t worth the energy to be mean – and honestly, they wouldn’t get it anyways. Bad people never do.)
To an aunt that stuck her nose somewhere it shouldn’t belong and started a war against me (or rather herself – I stopped engaging in it):
You are trying to take over Grandma’s role in the family. You want to be the one who hosts all the parties, but you are not warm and welcoming like Grandma was. You throw all these parties as if you are doing everyone a favor, but in fact I honestly believe you do it for yourself, so people will think more of you than they do. So people will think you are kind and generous.
You are very cold. Your hugs are fake. You are cliquey. You have a chip on your shoulder. You and your sister that you wrangled to be sidekick exclude many. You let Grandma live too long – she would have hated knowing how she spent the last two years of her life.
I think you are very jealous of others and that’s why you are so mean and cold.
I refuse to attend family functions anymore – mainly because of you. I know you would come up and try to hug me and tell me how much you love me. Well, to that I say, where the hell have you been the last two years? And by the way – don’t pretend with me. I am pretty sure the last thing you said to me was “Fuck You!”
You should always be the adult in our relationship. It doesn’t matter how old I am. But you acted so childish and immature and furthermore you had no idea what you were talking about! Get the facts straight before you judge and condemn!
Your ex-husband will always be more family to me than you are. I enjoy him and his company. He is a fun and exciting person. He is always kind and very friendly. I can’t believe you divorced him.
[Man! That felt good! I am so smiling right now!]
To my cousin, who is my exact age:
Where the hell have you been?
I used to invite you out all the time with my friends – that’s who I am, I include everyone. This allowed you to make new friends, people you have things in common with as a lot of my friends are teachers.
You never reciprocated when your friends were doing something.
I took you on two fun road trips. I did all the driving. You really didn’t even have to pay for one of them because it was a work trip. We had a lot of fun doing things and seeing things you would have otherwise not experienced. I understand you have a camper now. I will assume I will not be getting an invite.
Once, I was heading to Chicago and invited myself to your sister’s house. I was meeting friends there and just thought I would ask. I could have not invited you, but I did. We had a great weekend, a lot of fun. Again, you had to pay for nothing.
I guess I just want to know why you never invite me to do anything? Oh, except for that purse party you had where I felt obligated to buy something. I don’t use purses normally, just wristlets, but I ordered a whole purse set and some “skins” or whatever they were, and gave them to my mom.
So, really, why do we have such a one-sided relationship? And why, in the last two years, have you not bothered once to ask me to do anything?
[Phew! Another big smile! This is really taking loads off my chest!]
To my old VP at my last company:
I looked up to you. I asked you for help. You knew I was spinning faster through a dark hole. Ye I sold so much and support and install weren’t correctly doing their jobs.
You were the one that got me so drunk one night I woke up next to some crazy guy from Inside Sales who continued to call me and try to connect with me after the fact. In fact, I am pretty sure you saw him follow me to my hotel room.
You let McNugget, my boss, get away with doing nothing – taking no responsibility for anything.
You could have helped me. You could have saved me. I looked up to you. I reached out to you.
You let me down. You cut me out. You dropped me to get ahead.
I know that’s why you stare at the floor when you see me now at conventions. You know what you did and you know you were wrong.
[Okay, this one kind of makes me sad.]
To anyone I have ever hurt, unknowingly:
I am so, so very sorry. If I have hurt you, if I did something to upset you, I wish you had told me what so I could fix it. I never meant to do anything wrong – and if I knew what it was, I would spend forever trying to make it up to you.
To my old BFF from High School:
I miss you terribly. I would love to see you and catch up. I wish I knew how to get in contact with you. I have tried old emails and Linked In. I never saw you on any social media.
I am so sorry we grew so far apart we don’t even catch up now and again, at least send Christmas cards.
There was never a fight, we never did anything to hurt one another.
I am pretty sure if I could find you, we could get together and catch up. I would love to hug you again! You were always such a great friend and we have so many great memories together.
I miss you tons!!