My biggest fear is that I will never have children of my own. I fear that I will never carry a baby to term. I fear that constantly trying will completely wear me out. It’s that fear that makes me hesitate to try now. The fear of not having a partner to try with and the repeated doctor visits it will take to accomplish having children makes it more of a public challenge than a personal struggle shared between me and a partner. I fear if my body continues to fail and I decide adoption is my only option that upon finally receiving a child, the child will be taken away from me by his or her biological mother or father.
My biggest dream is to have a family of my own. My own children to love, help grow, and develop into adults that someday have their own children, my grandchildren. I dream of sports games, dance recitals, school plays and events… holidays… I dream of celebrating my children’s personal triumphs and being a better parent to my children than my parents were to me. I want to be there for their struggles and guide them to better handle difficulties and disappointments.